Kids Safety • Parent Playbook • New York

Sensei Bully: A Bully Proof Plan for Kids That Uses Rules, Not Rage

Sensei Bully is our short name for a bully-proof system that puts safety first: avoid the fight, get adults involved early, and teach kids calm control instead of chaos.

In New York, bullying response also has a compliance layer under DASA, so this plan is both safety-first and process-first for parents.

Updated March 2026 | Sensei Sandy BJJ | Tannersville, NY

Why This Matters (With Data)

  • In the 2021 to 2022 school year, 19% of U.S. students ages 12 to 18 reported being bullied during school. [1]
  • Among bullied students, 44.2% said an adult at school was notified. [2]
  • Among bullied students, 25.9% avoided a location or activity at school, and 7.8% stayed home from school. [2]
  • UNESCO reported 32% of students were bullied by peers at school at least once in the last month (2019 publication summary). [3]
  • UNICEF reported in September 2019 that 1 in 3 young people in 30 countries said they were victims of online bullying. [4]

If your family is in New York, the Dignity for All Students Act was signed September 13, 2010 and took effect July 1, 2012. [5]

Start Here

Safety first. Reporting early. Calm control only when needed.

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What Counts as Bullying

StopBullying.gov defines bullying as unwanted, aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived power imbalance, and clarifies it is repeated behavior or has the potential to be repeated over time. [6]

The CDC uses matching criteria: unwanted aggressive behavior, power imbalance, and repeated or likely repeated behavior. [7]

Sensei Bully rule: treat bullying as a safety issue plus a reporting issue, not a "kids will be kids" issue.

New York Reality Check: DASA Duties

  • Dignity Act took effect July 1, 2012. [5]
  • An amendment effective July 1, 2013 defined cyberbullying and expanded investigation/reporting requirements. [8]

Parent move: ask who the Dignity Act Coordinator is and ask for the school's written reporting process.

The Sensei Bully Rules (Kid Simple, Adult Strong)

Rule 1: Avoid the Fight

Avoiding a fight is strategy, not weakness.

Rule 2: If Physically Attacked, Defend with Control

Protect your head, stay on your feet when possible, create space, and get to an adult.

Rule 3: If Verbally Attacked, Use the 3 T Steps

  • Talk: "Stop. Do not touch me. Back up."
  • Tell: "I need an adult right now."
  • Take action: leave the area and move to staffed safety.

Rule 4: No Punching, No Kicking

Use control, then negotiate, then get help.

Rule 5: Minimal Force and Stop When Safe

That is the boundary between self-defense and escalation.

Effects on Kids (NCES 2021 to 2022)

  • 27.8% reported negative feelings about themselves. [2]
  • 19.7% reported negative effects on schoolwork. [2]
  • 18.5% reported negative effects on relationships with family and friends. [2]
  • 13.4% reported negative effects on physical health. [2]

Takeaway: many kids never trigger the adult support loop, so families need a repeatable written reporting play.

Sensei Bully Parent Playbook

1. Write It Down

Log date, time, location, witnesses, exact behavior, and screenshots.

2. Report and Follow Up in Writing

The APA advises reporting bullying to school and following up with a letter, copied to the superintendent when needed. [9]

3. Ask for a Safety Plan

Ask for supervised transitions, seating changes, hallway/bus plans, no-contact instructions, and counselor check-ins.

4. In NY, Use DASA Language

Ask directly: "What is the DASA process here, and who is the Dignity Act Coordinator?"

5. For Cyberbullying, Preserve Evidence First

Screenshot, save URLs, save timestamps, then report through school channels.

Need a Calm, Structured Start?

Our classes focus on confidence, boundaries, and control over chaos.

Book Free Intro Text (917) 736-8649

What We Teach in Class (Without Building Aggression)

  • Confident posture and voice
  • Boundary scripts and role-play
  • Safe movement, balance, and breakfall basics
  • Controlled grappling concepts like "hold and wait"
  • Respect, hygiene, and partner safety

Does Martial Arts Stop Bullying?

Not by itself.

  • A 2024 randomized controlled trial (n=283, ages 12 to 14) found no reduction or increase in aggressive behavior from the intervention and called for nuance. [10]
  • A 2021 systematic review found traditional martial arts training appears to lower anger and aggression, but emphasized methodological limits. [11]

Sensei Bully position: training works best when paired with adult reporting, consistent boundaries, and school process follow-through.

FAQ

Is Sensei Bully a self-defense program?

It includes self-defense boundaries, but prevention and reporting come first.

What if my kid is afraid to tell an adult?

Practice: "I need help now. This is bullying." NCES reports school adult notification in 44.2% of bullying cases. [2]

What if bullying is online?

Use an evidence-first workflow: save receipts, report, escalate. [4]

What if the school does nothing?

Use a written trail and ask for DASA process steps in writing. [5]

Local Note (Catskills Families)

If you are near Tannersville, NY, this approach is taught the same way we teach jiu jitsu: calm, structured, beginner-friendly, and community-based.

If a child is in immediate danger, contact emergency services and school officials right away.

Sources

  1. National Center for Education Statistics (IES blog)
  2. NCES Table 8 (School year 2021 to 2022)
  3. UNESCO bullying publication summary
  4. UNICEF online bullying poll (September 2019)
  5. New York State Education Department Dignity Act
  6. StopBullying.gov definition
  7. CDC bullying overview
  8. NYS Office of the State Comptroller DASA audit
  9. American Psychological Association guidance
  10. ScienceDirect 2024 RCT
  11. ScienceDirect 2021 review